awkwerdness101 tutorial, anyone?
- (title intentionally made that way)
last night of my staycation at the bestfriend’s. it’s back to reality come monday. urgh.
loneliness weakens your immune system - having friends and significant others can increase immunity by 60%.
just lying around doing whatever, gives me that familiar but exciting feeling. i’m lucky to have him for a bestfriend. the girl he wants to be his’ is uber lucky. i can tell.
why am i posting this? idk. after four days at his place, i’m finally heading to the pad in makati tomorrow, ‘cause internship starts on monday. urgh.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry.
I’ll be the memory you have when you propose to her. As you slide that ring on her finger you’ll think about that time we got dressed in our swankiest threads and had a horrible time at that party so we came back home and sat in an empty bath tub drinking whiskey outta the bottle talking about our childhood dreams.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be that memory whenever you and her get in an argument. you’ll recall our first fight and the endless glares and icy tones. Repetition of words like RESPECT and WHY rung through the stillness of the air. We almost ended that night. Thankfully you stopped me from walking out of that door.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be that memory when you have your first child. When you and your wife are picking out names you’ll remember our talk about our future. Our apartment layout and first pet. A dog named Pascal because I’m allergic to cats.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be the girl you fall for when you are too young to understand what falling really is. You’ll fuck up and lose me. You won’t realize it until a while later. But when you do, you’ll think about me everyday. Forever.
sometimes I kiss people I shouldn’t kiss and let them unbutton my jeans sometimes I leave English class without asking and walk in angular circles until I can hear the blood rushing under my skin sometimes I run until I can’t breathe sometimes I sit in the rain sometimes I sleep for six hours in the middle of the day
sometimes I drive too fast and listen to my music so loud that it hurts sometimes I drink until everything goes black and I don’t remember talking about you all night (even though I do)
sometimes I cry about books and about people who died hundreds of years ago sometimes I don’t cry even though I want to more than anything sometimes I ignore the people I love sometimes hold myself to keep everything in because you are not here to do it
sometimes I think I’m alive sometimes I think I probably never will be
waking up to the clash of clans background music, 4mornings in a row. an interesting shift from my loud static x alarm tone. ha-ha, gmorning
at 05 in the morning, i wake up and look at you and think to myself ...
- as long as you're happy, i'm happy. first thought in the morning, idk exactly why i thought of it, i just did.